Difference between revisions of "Template:Did you know nominations/Abbas Kazmi"
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imported>Dharmadhyaksha (Q) |
imported>Ishtar456 (adding to hook) |
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:::{{DYK?again}}Second request for another review. I really did edit this article and I feel it is ready to go, but I did so much work on it that I would like someone else to look at it. I originally ask 6 days ago. Thanks--[[User:Ishtar456|Ishtar456]] ([[User talk:Ishtar456|talk]]) 00:07, 10 March 2012 (UTC) | :::{{DYK?again}}Second request for another review. I really did edit this article and I feel it is ready to go, but I did so much work on it that I would like someone else to look at it. I originally ask 6 days ago. Thanks--[[User:Ishtar456|Ishtar456]] ([[User talk:Ishtar456|talk]]) 00:07, 10 March 2012 (UTC) | ||
:::: I had made few changes to the article but I feel that the ALT suggested by Ishtar needs some cleanup.--[[User:Ratnakar.kulkarni|sarvajna]] ([[User talk:Ratnakar.kulkarni|talk]]) 10:10, 11 March 2012 (UTC) | :::: I had made few changes to the article but I feel that the ALT suggested by Ishtar needs some cleanup.--[[User:Ratnakar.kulkarni|sarvajna]] ([[User talk:Ratnakar.kulkarni|talk]]) 10:10, 11 March 2012 (UTC) | ||
− | *'''ALT2''': ... that '''[[Abbas Kazmi]]''' was asked to construct a [[brainwashing]] defense for [[Ajmal Kasab]], the gunman who was tried for the [[2008 Mumbai attacks]]? | + | *'''ALT2''': ... that '''[[Abbas Kazmi]]''' was asked, by a [[Unites States]] [[Diplomat]], to construct a [[brainwashing]] defense for [[Ajmal Kasab]], the gunman who was tried for the [[2008 Mumbai attacks]]? |
:A little simpler. [[User:Crisco 1492|Crisco 1492]] ([[User talk:Crisco 1492|talk]]) 07:25, 13 March 2012 (UTC) | :A little simpler. [[User:Crisco 1492|Crisco 1492]] ([[User talk:Crisco 1492|talk]]) 07:25, 13 March 2012 (UTC) | ||
::Doesnt mentioning "US Diplomat" make it more hook-y? -[[User:Animeshkulkarni|Animeshkulkarni]] ([[User talk:Animeshkulkarni|talk]]) 21:33, 14 March 2012 (UTC) | ::Doesnt mentioning "US Diplomat" make it more hook-y? -[[User:Animeshkulkarni|Animeshkulkarni]] ([[User talk:Animeshkulkarni|talk]]) 21:33, 14 March 2012 (UTC) | ||
+ | ::I just added the last suggestion to the hook. I am hoping someone will complete this review. | ||
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Revision as of 00:07, 15 March 2012
Abbas Kazmi
- ... that a US diplomat had approached Abbas Kazmi to build a case to free Ajmal Kasab, the lone gunman caught during 2008 Mumbai attacks?
- Comment: I had created the Page in my user space on Jan 30 2012 and moved it to main space on 7 Feb 2012
Created/expanded by Ratnakar Kulkarni (talk). Nominated by Ratnakar.kulkarni (talk) at 13:36, 7 February 2012 (UTC)
The article is New (moved from User space). Long enough with more than 1500 characters. Hook is interesting and understandable and suitably referenced. But the article doesnt through much light on the hook. That section of the article should write more about this. In fact, that part confuses you from what you read in the hook. Please improve that. -Animeshkulkarni (talk) 13:23, 8 February 2012 (UTC)
- I have made few changes to the article and also to the section that you mentioned, can you please review it once. - Ratnakar Kulkarni (talk)
I still wasnt very happy with it. Hence made some changes. And hence i would also want some other editor to review it. -Animeshkulkarni (talk) 15:41, 9 February 2012 (UTC)
I completed edited this article, and placed the proper citation with the hook fact. It is all set now.--Ishtar456 (talk) 01:42, 4 March 2012 (UTC)
I am concerned that some of the phrasings used by this article may be too close to those of this source. Nikkimaria (talk) 20:46, 4 March 2012 (UTC)
I am sorry, I was trying to stay as true to the original writer's wording as I could. I found that and the source both a little difficult to decipher. I have reworked it again.
- I am glad you caught this because I also want to suggest an alt as I am not sure that "freedom" was intended, but a special consideration in his sentencing. So I suggest: ALT 1: ... that a US diplomat asked Abbas Kazmi to build a brainwashing defense for Ajmal Kasab, the gunman tried for the 2008 Mumbai attacks?
- I guess someone else should review it now. Please look at the dif. in the last few edits. --Ishtar456 (talk) 23:44, 4 March 2012 (UTC)
- ALT2: ... that Abbas Kazmi was asked, by a Unites States Diplomat, to construct a brainwashing defense for Ajmal Kasab, the gunman who was tried for the 2008 Mumbai attacks?
- A little simpler. Crisco 1492 (talk) 07:25, 13 March 2012 (UTC)
- Doesnt mentioning "US Diplomat" make it more hook-y? -Animeshkulkarni (talk) 21:33, 14 March 2012 (UTC)
- I just added the last suggestion to the hook. I am hoping someone will complete this review.