Difference between revisions of "Template:Did you know nominations/Nancy (1775)"
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imported>Gatoclass (verified) |
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− | {{ | + | {{#if:yes|<noinclude>[[Category:Passed DYK nominations from June 2013]]<div style="background-color: #F3F9FF; margin: 2em 0 0 0; padding: 0 10px 0 10px; border: 1px solid #AAAAAA;"> |
− | | | + | :''The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. <span style="color:red">'''Please do not modify this page.'''</span> Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as [[{{TALKPAGENAME}}|this nomination's talk page]], [[Talk:{{SUBPAGENAME}}|the article's talk page]] or [[Wikipedia talk:Did you know]]), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. '''No further edits should be made to this page'''.'' |
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− | | | + | The result was: '''promoted''' by [[User:SL93|SL93]] ([[User talk:SL93|talk]]) 18:12, 10 July 2013 (UTC)<br />}} |
{{DYKC}} | {{DYKC}} | ||
====Nancy (1775)==== | ====Nancy (1775)==== | ||
{{DYK nompage links|nompage=Nancy (1775)|Nancy (1775)}} | {{DYK nompage links|nompage=Nancy (1775)|Nancy (1775)}} | ||
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<div style="float:right;margin-left:0.5em;"> | <div style="float:right;margin-left:0.5em;"> | ||
[[File:The Flag Of The United States by John Sartain.jpg|100x100px|''Nancy'' flying an American flag]] | [[File:The Flag Of The United States by John Sartain.jpg|100x100px|''Nancy'' flying an American flag]] | ||
</div> | </div> | ||
<s>{{*mp}}... that in 1776, during the [[American Revolutionary War]], the American [[brig]] '''[[Nancy (1775)|''Nancy'']]''' ''(pictured)'' was the first to fly an [[American flag]] in a foreign port, according to her captain's daughter?</s> | <s>{{*mp}}... that in 1776, during the [[American Revolutionary War]], the American [[brig]] '''[[Nancy (1775)|''Nancy'']]''' ''(pictured)'' was the first to fly an [[American flag]] in a foreign port, according to her captain's daughter?</s> | ||
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:{{*mp}} ''Reviewed'': [[Template:Did you know nominations/Sheep farming in Wales|Sheep farming in Wales]] | :{{*mp}} ''Reviewed'': [[Template:Did you know nominations/Sheep farming in Wales|Sheep farming in Wales]] | ||
<small>Created by [[User:Zeete|Zeete]] ([[User talk:Zeete|talk]]). Self nominated at 22:04, 29 June 2013 (UTC)</small>. | <small>Created by [[User:Zeete|Zeete]] ([[User talk:Zeete|talk]]). Self nominated at 22:04, 29 June 2013 (UTC)</small>. | ||
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:*Not a review - the hook seems to have broken grammar. Should it be "according to the captain's daughter" or "according to her captain's daughter"? [[User:Chris857|Chris857]] ([[User talk:Chris857|talk]]) 22:21, 29 June 2013 (UTC) | :*Not a review - the hook seems to have broken grammar. Should it be "according to the captain's daughter" or "according to her captain's daughter"? [[User:Chris857|Chris857]] ([[User talk:Chris857|talk]]) 22:21, 29 June 2013 (UTC) | ||
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:* [[File:Symbol possible vote.svg|16px]] The article contains a header which states "First American flag in foreign port", but the claim is neither repeated in main body text nor sourced. [[User:Gatoclass|Gatoclass]] ([[User talk:Gatoclass|talk]]) 17:27, 9 July 2013 (UTC) | :* [[File:Symbol possible vote.svg|16px]] The article contains a header which states "First American flag in foreign port", but the claim is neither repeated in main body text nor sourced. [[User:Gatoclass|Gatoclass]] ([[User talk:Gatoclass|talk]]) 17:27, 9 July 2013 (UTC) | ||
::* I've added a direct quote "the first American stars ever seen in a foreign port" from the primary Montgomery source. The Mendenhall source has "the first American flag ever seen in a foreign port". Thanks, [[User:Zeete|Zeete]] ([[User talk:Zeete|talk]]) 18:33, 9 July 2013 (UTC) | ::* I've added a direct quote "the first American stars ever seen in a foreign port" from the primary Montgomery source. The Mendenhall source has "the first American flag ever seen in a foreign port". Thanks, [[User:Zeete|Zeete]] ([[User talk:Zeete|talk]]) 18:33, 9 July 2013 (UTC) | ||
− | :::: [[File:Symbol voting keep.svg|16px]] Okay, I'll accept that. Verified. [[User:Gatoclass|Gatoclass]] ([[User talk:Gatoclass|talk]]) 11:16, 10 July 2013 (UTC) | + | :::: [[File:Symbol voting keep.svg|16px]] Okay, I'll accept that. Verified. [[User:Gatoclass|Gatoclass]] ([[User talk:Gatoclass|talk]]) 11:16, 10 July 2013 (UTC){{#if:yes|</div></noinclude>|{{#ifeq:{{FULLPAGENAME}}|Template talk:Did you know/{{SUBPAGENAME}}|[[Category:Pending DYK nominations]][[Category:DYK/Nominations|Pending]]|{{#ifeq:{{FULLPAGENAME}}|Template:Did you know nominations/{{SUBPAGENAME}}|[[Category:DYK/Nominations|Pending]][[Category:Pending DYK nominations]]}}}}}}<!--Please do not write below this line or remove this line. Place comments above this line.--> |
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Revision as of 18:12, 10 July 2013
- The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by SL93 (talk) 18:12, 10 July 2013 (UTC)
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Nancy (1775)
... that in 1776, during the American Revolutionary War, the American brig Nancy (pictured) was the first to fly an American flag in a foreign port, according to her captain's daughter?
- Reviewed: Sheep farming in Wales
Created by Zeete (talk). Self nominated at 22:04, 29 June 2013 (UTC).
The hook has three iterations of "American" which is obviously redundant, the date is unnecessary because "Revolutionary War" already dates the hook, and the "according to the captain's daughter" is a ponderous phrase that adds little info and only weakens the hook. Suggested alt:
ALT1: ... of the claim that during the Revolutionary War, the brig Nancy (pictured) became the first ship to fly an American flag in a foreign port?
- Having said that though, it is unclear from the article whether "first" means first ship to raise a US flag in a foreign port, or whether it means first US flag raised in a foreign port, period. So this needs to be clarified too. Gatoclass (talk) 16:38, 5 July 2013 (UTC)
- The claim from her book was that a crew member was ordered to "hoist the first American stars ever seen in a foreign port". Is this alt clearer? Thanks, Zeete (talk) 19:09, 5 July 2013 (UTC)
- changed ALT2 to match article. Zeete (talk) 20:23, 5 July 2013 (UTC)
ALT2: ... of the claim that during the Revolutionary War, the captain of the brig Nancy (pictured) raised the first American flag in a foreign port?
- Let's try to make the article a bit more prominent. How about:
ALT3: ... that the captain of the brig Nancy (pictured) was the first to raise the American flag in a foreign port during the Revolutionary War, according to his daughter?
- This also has the typical DYK first word, "that", and restores the daughter (in place of "claim", which otherwise would be placed earlier and reduce the hook's effectiveness). If "claim" is deemed necessary (or the daughter hugely undesirable), then "was the first" could change to "is claimed to have been the first", while getting rid of the daughter at the end. BlueMoonset (talk) 15:58, 6 July 2013 (UTC)
- Consider alt4, keeps clear that it was first flag, keeps it short, and claim is then clear from the article itself. Zeete (talk) 17:35, 6 July 2013 (UTC)
ALT4: ... that the captain of the brig Nancy (pictured) raised the first American flag in a foreign port during the Revolutionary War?
Now that hook is settled (earlier versions struck), nomination needs a full review. BlueMoonset (talk) 20:44, 6 July 2013 (UTC)
- Consider alt5 with the claim. Thanks, Zeete (talk) 10:01, 8 July 2013 (UTC)
- ALT5: ... that the captain of the brig Nancy (pictured) is said to have raised the first American flag in a foreign port, during the Revolutionary War?
Time for a full review of the nomination, with ALT5 as the hook. (Struck ALT4 for clarity.) BlueMoonset (talk) 16:59, 8 July 2013 (UTC)
The article contains a header which states "First American flag in foreign port", but the claim is neither repeated in main body text nor sourced. Gatoclass (talk) 17:27, 9 July 2013 (UTC)