Difference between revisions of "Template:Did you know nominations/2005 Advance Auto Parts 500"

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imported>BlueMoonset
(issues with hooks and with prose)
imported>ZappaOMatic
(Re)
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:*Here are two other alts I propose:
 
:*Here are two other alts I propose:
* '''ALT1''': ... that [[Scott Riggs]] won his first career [[Sprint Cup Series|Cup Series]] pole position in the '''[[2005 Advance Auto Parts 500]]''', but eventually crashed on the first lap?
+
* '''ALT1''': ... that [[Scott Riggs]] won his first career [[Sprint Cup Series|Cup Series]] pole position in the '''[[2005 Advance Auto Parts 500]]''', but hit [[Ryan Newman]] on the first lap?
 
* '''ALT2''': ... that the starting command for the '''[[2005 Advance Auto Parts 500]]''' was given from Iraq?
 
* '''ALT2''': ... that the starting command for the '''[[2005 Advance Auto Parts 500]]''' was given from Iraq?
 
'''<span style="text-shadow:#808080 0.2em 0.2em 0.2em">[[User:ZappaOMati|<font color="#0000FF">Zappa</font>]][[Special:Contributions/ZappaOMati|<font color="#00FF00">O</font>]][[User talk:ZappaOMati|<font color="#FF0000">Mati</font>]]</span>''' 14:00, 3 July 2013 (UTC)
 
'''<span style="text-shadow:#808080 0.2em 0.2em 0.2em">[[User:ZappaOMati|<font color="#0000FF">Zappa</font>]][[Special:Contributions/ZappaOMati|<font color="#00FF00">O</font>]][[User talk:ZappaOMati|<font color="#FF0000">Mati</font>]]</span>''' 14:00, 3 July 2013 (UTC)
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::My problem with the article is that it relies to heavily on jargon rather than being written in encyclopedic prose, which makes it difficult for someone who doesn't know racing to understand what happened in the race. Terms like "getting loose", "collecting", "car's tire was cut down", and so on, can be expressed in more everyday language. I'd like to see this fixed in the Race section before approval is restored. [[User:BlueMoonset|BlueMoonset]] ([[User talk:BlueMoonset|talk]]) 23:31, 9 July 2013 (UTC)
 
::My problem with the article is that it relies to heavily on jargon rather than being written in encyclopedic prose, which makes it difficult for someone who doesn't know racing to understand what happened in the race. Terms like "getting loose", "collecting", "car's tire was cut down", and so on, can be expressed in more everyday language. I'd like to see this fixed in the Race section before approval is restored. [[User:BlueMoonset|BlueMoonset]] ([[User talk:BlueMoonset|talk]]) 23:31, 9 July 2013 (UTC)
 
+
:::* I'll get to cleaning that up once I get on the computer in about two hours; for now, I changed ALT1 a little, since I saw a race highlight of Newman colliding with Riggs in particular. Also, the inline source for it was the Jayski ref, I think. '''<span style="text-shadow:#808080 0.2em 0.2em 0.2em">[[User:ZappaOMati|<font color="#0000FF">Zappa</font>]][[Special:Contributions/ZappaOMati|<font color="#00FF00">O</font>]][[User talk:ZappaOMati|<font color="#FF0000">Mati</font>]]</span>''' 00:06, 10 July 2013 (UTC)
 
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Revision as of 00:06, 10 July 2013

2005 Advance Auto Parts 500

Created by ZappaOMati (talk). Self nominated at 04:32, 3 July 2013 (UTC).

  • Here are two other alts I propose:

ZappaOMati 14:00, 3 July 2013 (UTC)

    • Symbol confirmed.svg The article meets DYK criteria. I am neutral about what hook is used. SL93 (talk) 03:02, 7 July 2013 (UTC)
  • Symbol question.svg I find the original hook to be not at all unusual: many races are won by drivers who were trailing earlier in the race. ALT1 is not fully supported by inline citations: the pole position part is, but there's no clear text about crashing in whatever happened in the first lap, and it doesn't have an inline source besides (I would certainly drop the word "eventually", since it happened right after the race started.) ALT2 is supported, and I find the most interesting (and it makes an ideal quirky hook).
My problem with the article is that it relies to heavily on jargon rather than being written in encyclopedic prose, which makes it difficult for someone who doesn't know racing to understand what happened in the race. Terms like "getting loose", "collecting", "car's tire was cut down", and so on, can be expressed in more everyday language. I'd like to see this fixed in the Race section before approval is restored. BlueMoonset (talk) 23:31, 9 July 2013 (UTC)
  • I'll get to cleaning that up once I get on the computer in about two hours; for now, I changed ALT1 a little, since I saw a race highlight of Newman colliding with Riggs in particular. Also, the inline source for it was the Jayski ref, I think. ZappaOMati 00:06, 10 July 2013 (UTC)