Difference between revisions of "Template:Did you know nominations/Bemis, Tennessee"

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imported>Cbl62
(Review)
imported>Orlady
(reply to review)
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* ... that after building '''[[Bemis, Tennessee]]''', as a [[company town]] for its cotton mill workers, the [[Bemis Company]] offered transportation services for employees who didn't live there?
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* ... <s>that after building '''[[Bemis, Tennessee]]''', as a [[company town]] for its cotton mill workers, the [[Bemis Company]] offered transportation services for employees who didn't live there?</s>
 
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:* '''ALT1''':... that the designer of the [[company town]] of '''[[Bemis, Tennessee]]''' tried to make the community look like it had grown up over time?
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:* '''ALT1''':... that the designer of the [[company town]] of '''[[Bemis, Tennessee]]''' tried to make the community look like it had grown over time?
 
:* ''Reviewed'': [[Template:Did you know nominations/Purabá de Santa Bárbara|Purabá de Santa Bárbara]]
 
:* ''Reviewed'': [[Template:Did you know nominations/Purabá de Santa Bárbara|Purabá de Santa Bárbara]]
 
<small>Created by [[User:Orlady|Orlady]] ([[User talk:Orlady|talk]]). Self nominated at 03:32, 30 July 2014 (UTC)</small>.
 
<small>Created by [[User:Orlady|Orlady]] ([[User talk:Orlady|talk]]). Self nominated at 03:32, 30 July 2014 (UTC)</small>.
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:* [[File:Symbol question.svg|16px]] Article is new enough (created July 27), long enough, uses in-line citations and appears neutral.  The original hook is cited to [http://tennesseeencyclopedia.net/entry.php?rec=80 this] source, but, unless I missed it, the source doesn't say that the company provided the referenced train and jitney service, just that such service existed.  In any event, I think the '''alt 1''' hook is superior, and it is supported by the same source. My only quibble is with the term "grown up" as applied to the growth of a city.  It strikes me as overly colloquial; wouldn't "grown" without "up" be preferable?  If you agree, I suggest striking "up" from '''alt 1'''.  QPQ has been satisfied.  And spot-checking finds no problems with unduly close paraphrasing, copyright violation or plagiarism. [[User:Cbl62|Cbl62]] ([[User talk:Cbl62|talk]]) 15:41, 30 July 2014 (UTC)
 
:* [[File:Symbol question.svg|16px]] Article is new enough (created July 27), long enough, uses in-line citations and appears neutral.  The original hook is cited to [http://tennesseeencyclopedia.net/entry.php?rec=80 this] source, but, unless I missed it, the source doesn't say that the company provided the referenced train and jitney service, just that such service existed.  In any event, I think the '''alt 1''' hook is superior, and it is supported by the same source. My only quibble is with the term "grown up" as applied to the growth of a city.  It strikes me as overly colloquial; wouldn't "grown" without "up" be preferable?  If you agree, I suggest striking "up" from '''alt 1'''.  QPQ has been satisfied.  And spot-checking finds no problems with unduly close paraphrasing, copyright violation or plagiarism. [[User:Cbl62|Cbl62]] ([[User talk:Cbl62|talk]]) 15:41, 30 July 2014 (UTC)
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:::Thanks for that thoughtful review, Cbl62 -- particularly for noticing that the transportation wasn't necessarily provided by the Bemis Company. I've struck the original hook, edited the article, and removed the word "up" from the ALT hook. Please see what you think. --[[User:Orlady|Orlady]] ([[User talk:Orlady|talk]]) 17:08, 30 July 2014 (UTC)
  
 
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Revision as of 17:08, 30 July 2014

Bemis, Tennessee

Created by Orlady (talk). Self nominated at 03:32, 30 July 2014 (UTC).

  • Symbol question.svg Article is new enough (created July 27), long enough, uses in-line citations and appears neutral. The original hook is cited to this source, but, unless I missed it, the source doesn't say that the company provided the referenced train and jitney service, just that such service existed. In any event, I think the alt 1 hook is superior, and it is supported by the same source. My only quibble is with the term "grown up" as applied to the growth of a city. It strikes me as overly colloquial; wouldn't "grown" without "up" be preferable? If you agree, I suggest striking "up" from alt 1. QPQ has been satisfied. And spot-checking finds no problems with unduly close paraphrasing, copyright violation or plagiarism. Cbl62 (talk) 15:41, 30 July 2014 (UTC)
Thanks for that thoughtful review, Cbl62 -- particularly for noticing that the transportation wasn't necessarily provided by the Bemis Company. I've struck the original hook, edited the article, and removed the word "up" from the ALT hook. Please see what you think. --Orlady (talk) 17:08, 30 July 2014 (UTC)