Difference between revisions of "Template:Did you know nominations/Bemis, Tennessee"
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imported>Cbl62 (Approve alt hooks) |
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:* '''ALT2''':... that the designer of '''[[Bemis, Tennessee]]''', a [[company town]], tried to make it look as if it had grown over time? <small>[[User:EEng|EEng]] ([[User talk:EEng|talk]]) 19:26, 30 July 2014 (UTC)</small> | :* '''ALT2''':... that the designer of '''[[Bemis, Tennessee]]''', a [[company town]], tried to make it look as if it had grown over time? <small>[[User:EEng|EEng]] ([[User talk:EEng|talk]]) 19:26, 30 July 2014 (UTC)</small> | ||
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| + | ::: [[File:Symbol confirmed.svg|16px]] The '''alt 1''' and '''alt 2''' hooks are fine. The original has been stricken. [[User:Cbl62|Cbl62]] ([[User talk:Cbl62|talk]]) 22:59, 30 July 2014 (UTC) | ||
Revision as of 22:59, 30 July 2014
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Bemis, Tennessee
- ...
that after building Bemis, Tennessee, as a company town for its cotton mill workers, the Bemis Company offered transportation services for employees who didn't live there?
- ALT1:... that the designer of the company town of Bemis, Tennessee tried to make the community look like it had grown over time?
- Reviewed: Purabá de Santa Bárbara
Created by Orlady (talk). Self nominated at 03:32, 30 July 2014 (UTC).
Article is new enough (created July 27), long enough, uses in-line citations and appears neutral. The original hook is cited to this source, but, unless I missed it, the source doesn't say that the company provided the referenced train and jitney service, just that such service existed. In any event, I think the alt 1 hook is superior, and it is supported by the same source. My only quibble is with the term "grown up" as applied to the growth of a city. It strikes me as overly colloquial; wouldn't "grown" without "up" be preferable? If you agree, I suggest striking "up" from alt 1. QPQ has been satisfied. And spot-checking finds no problems with unduly close paraphrasing, copyright violation or plagiarism. Cbl62 (talk) 15:41, 30 July 2014 (UTC)
- Thanks for that thoughtful review, Cbl62 -- particularly for noticing that the transportation wasn't necessarily provided by the Bemis Company. I've struck the original hook, edited the article, and removed the word "up" from the ALT hook. Please see what you think. --Orlady (talk) 17:08, 30 July 2014 (UTC)
- ALT2:... that the designer of Bemis, Tennessee, a company town, tried to make it look as if it had grown over time? EEng (talk) 19:26, 30 July 2014 (UTC)