Difference between revisions of "Template:Did you know nominations/David Asante-Apeatu"
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− | * ... that after spending time in Sarajevo, Lyon and The Gambia teaching, chasing criminals and serial killers, '''[[David Asante-Apeatu]]''' is now the [[Inspector General of Police|highest ranking police officer]] in Ghana? <small>Source: [http://www.ghanacelebrities.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/CV_Asante-Apeatu.pdf this] and [http://www.ghanaweb.com/GhanaHomePage/NewsArchive/Profile-of-Acting-IGP-David-Asante-Apeatu-504025 that]</small> | + | *<s> ... that after spending time in Sarajevo, Lyon and The Gambia teaching, chasing criminals and serial killers, '''[[David Asante-Apeatu]]''' is now the [[Inspector General of Police|highest ranking police officer]] in Ghana?</s> <small>Source: [http://www.ghanacelebrities.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/CV_Asante-Apeatu.pdf this] and [http://www.ghanaweb.com/GhanaHomePage/NewsArchive/Profile-of-Acting-IGP-David-Asante-Apeatu-504025 that]</small> |
− | ::*'''ALT1''' ... that '''[[David Asante-Apeatu]]''', a former | + | ::*'''ALT1''' ... that '''[[David Asante-Apeatu]]''', a former inspector of factories in Ghana, oversaw a police operation that led to the seizure of {{convert|588|kg|lb|-2|abbr=on}} of cocaine worth $38 million? |
:* ''Reviewed'': [[Template:Did you know nominations/Drop the Dip]] | :* ''Reviewed'': [[Template:Did you know nominations/Drop the Dip]] | ||
<small>Created by [[User:Crosstemplejay|Crosstemplejay]] ([[User talk:Crosstemplejay|talk]]). Self-nominated at 12:36, 28 June 2017 (UTC).</small> | <small>Created by [[User:Crosstemplejay|Crosstemplejay]] ([[User talk:Crosstemplejay|talk]]). Self-nominated at 12:36, 28 June 2017 (UTC).</small> | ||
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*<strike>'''Oppose'''</strike> The article reads like a CV. Furthermore, the proposed hook is poor. The article doesn't mention teaching, it trivialises police work, and as if that wasn't enough, the hook is essentially telling us that a policeman does police work and has a rank. You don't say. --[[User:Dweller|Dweller]] ([[User talk:Dweller|talk]]) <small>Become [[Wikipedia:Old Fashioned Wikipedian Values|old fashioned!]]</small> 09:39, 13 July 2017 (UTC) | *<strike>'''Oppose'''</strike> The article reads like a CV. Furthermore, the proposed hook is poor. The article doesn't mention teaching, it trivialises police work, and as if that wasn't enough, the hook is essentially telling us that a policeman does police work and has a rank. You don't say. --[[User:Dweller|Dweller]] ([[User talk:Dweller|talk]]) <small>Become [[Wikipedia:Old Fashioned Wikipedian Values|old fashioned!]]</small> 09:39, 13 July 2017 (UTC) | ||
:*Though I do not agree with your assertion that the article reads like a CV, I have reworded certain sections of it and proposed an alternative hook. It is sometimes very difficulty writing an African article to be like a Western article due largely to lack of extensive coverage on penitent issues and individuals. Please go through and offer your opinion. [[User:Crosstemplejay|<font color="blue">'''Cross'''</font><font color="blue">'''Temple'''</font>]][[user talk:crosstemplejay|<font color="red">''' Jay'''</font>]] 16:38, 13 July 2017 (UTC) | :*Though I do not agree with your assertion that the article reads like a CV, I have reworded certain sections of it and proposed an alternative hook. It is sometimes very difficulty writing an African article to be like a Western article due largely to lack of extensive coverage on penitent issues and individuals. Please go through and offer your opinion. [[User:Crosstemplejay|<font color="blue">'''Cross'''</font><font color="blue">'''Temple'''</font>]][[user talk:crosstemplejay|<font color="red">''' Jay'''</font>]] 16:38, 13 July 2017 (UTC) | ||
::The article's improving but I strongly suggest you ask someone to do a third-party copyedit - I don't think it's the coverage, more the writing style. I still don't find the hook very 'hooky'. I'll let one of the DYK regulars guide you better on that. I've struck the "oppose" - it seems a naughty word at DYK --[[User:Dweller|Dweller]] ([[User talk:Dweller|talk]]) <small>Become [[Wikipedia:Old Fashioned Wikipedian Values|old fashioned!]]</small> 10:11, 14 July 2017 (UTC) | ::The article's improving but I strongly suggest you ask someone to do a third-party copyedit - I don't think it's the coverage, more the writing style. I still don't find the hook very 'hooky'. I'll let one of the DYK regulars guide you better on that. I've struck the "oppose" - it seems a naughty word at DYK --[[User:Dweller|Dweller]] ([[User talk:Dweller|talk]]) <small>Become [[Wikipedia:Old Fashioned Wikipedian Values|old fashioned!]]</small> 10:11, 14 July 2017 (UTC) | ||
+ | :*[[File:Symbol confirmed.svg|16px]] This article is new enough and long enough. It is neutral and I have rewritten a couple of sentences to avoid close paraphrasing. I have also tweaked the ALT1 hook which is more interesting than the original. QPQ has been done. [[User:Cwmhiraeth|Cwmhiraeth]] ([[User talk:Cwmhiraeth|talk]]) 06:12, 28 July 2017 (UTC) | ||
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Revision as of 06:12, 28 July 2017
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David Asante-Apeatu
... that after spending time in Sarajevo, Lyon and The Gambia teaching, chasing criminals and serial killers, David Asante-Apeatu is now the highest ranking police officer in Ghana?Source: this and that
- ALT1 ... that David Asante-Apeatu, a former inspector of factories in Ghana, oversaw a police operation that led to the seizure of 588 kg (1,300 lb) of cocaine worth $38 million?
Created by Crosstemplejay (talk). Self-nominated at 12:36, 28 June 2017 (UTC).
OpposeThe article reads like a CV. Furthermore, the proposed hook is poor. The article doesn't mention teaching, it trivialises police work, and as if that wasn't enough, the hook is essentially telling us that a policeman does police work and has a rank. You don't say. --Dweller (talk) Become old fashioned! 09:39, 13 July 2017 (UTC)
- Though I do not agree with your assertion that the article reads like a CV, I have reworded certain sections of it and proposed an alternative hook. It is sometimes very difficulty writing an African article to be like a Western article due largely to lack of extensive coverage on penitent issues and individuals. Please go through and offer your opinion. CrossTemple Jay 16:38, 13 July 2017 (UTC)
- The article's improving but I strongly suggest you ask someone to do a third-party copyedit - I don't think it's the coverage, more the writing style. I still don't find the hook very 'hooky'. I'll let one of the DYK regulars guide you better on that. I've struck the "oppose" - it seems a naughty word at DYK --Dweller (talk) Become old fashioned! 10:11, 14 July 2017 (UTC)
This article is new enough and long enough. It is neutral and I have rewritten a couple of sentences to avoid close paraphrasing. I have also tweaked the ALT1 hook which is more interesting than the original. QPQ has been done. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 06:12, 28 July 2017 (UTC)