Difference between revisions of "Template:Did you know nominations/Elizabeth Plankinton"

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imported>EdChem
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imported>Doug Coldwell
(Let's go with ALT3a !!!!!!!!!!!!)
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* ... that '''[[Elizabeth Plankinton]]''' was known as the "municipal patroness" because of her generosity in giving so many public gifts to the citizens of Milwaukee?   
+
* <s>... that '''[[Elizabeth Plankinton]]''' was known as the "municipal patroness" because of her generosity in giving so many public gifts to the citizens of Milwaukee?  </s>
 
:''Source Ref #2 for hook'' - "Elizabeth Anne Plankinton was John's only daughter by his second wife, continued in her father's tradition of philanthropy and was known as the 'municipal patroness'."
 
:''Source Ref #2 for hook'' - "Elizabeth Anne Plankinton was John's only daughter by his second wife, continued in her father's tradition of philanthropy and was known as the 'municipal patroness'."
 
:''Source Ref #12 for hook'' - "Miss Plankinton, who in October 1909 was the subject of a magazine sketch in which she was referred to as "the municipal patroness" because of her generosity."
 
:''Source Ref #12 for hook'' - "Miss Plankinton, who in October 1909 was the subject of a magazine sketch in which she was referred to as "the municipal patroness" because of her generosity."
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::*QPQ review does not saying anything about copyvio (though Earwig confirms there is [https://tools.wmflabs.org/copyvios/?lang=en&project=wikipedia&title=Yazh+Nool&oldid=&action=search&use_engine=1&use_links=1&turnitin=0 not a problem]) and {{u|Yoninah}} has [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Template%3ADid_you_know_nominations%2FYazh_Nool&type=revision&diff=761240102&oldid=760015378 suspended the nomination] for a copyedit and [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Yazh_Nool&diff=761240349&oldid=761240273 tagged] the article.  In my opinion, Yoninah is correct that a copy edit is needed, there are clearly sentence fragments, poor grammar, and some parts that I struggle to parse.
 
::*QPQ review does not saying anything about copyvio (though Earwig confirms there is [https://tools.wmflabs.org/copyvios/?lang=en&project=wikipedia&title=Yazh+Nool&oldid=&action=search&use_engine=1&use_links=1&turnitin=0 not a problem]) and {{u|Yoninah}} has [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Template%3ADid_you_know_nominations%2FYazh_Nool&type=revision&diff=761240102&oldid=760015378 suspended the nomination] for a copyedit and [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Yazh_Nool&diff=761240349&oldid=761240273 tagged] the article.  In my opinion, Yoninah is correct that a copy edit is needed, there are clearly sentence fragments, poor grammar, and some parts that I struggle to parse.
 
:*[[File:Symbol question.svg|16px]] There are a couple of small issues here, and I'd like a better hook.  Will post again on that point in a few hours.  [[User:EdChem|EdChem]] ([[User talk:EdChem|talk]]) 07:48, 22 January 2017 (UTC)
 
:*[[File:Symbol question.svg|16px]] There are a couple of small issues here, and I'd like a better hook.  Will post again on that point in a few hours.  [[User:EdChem|EdChem]] ([[User talk:EdChem|talk]]) 07:48, 22 January 2017 (UTC)
*'''ALT1'''  ... that '''[[Elizabeth Plankinton]]''' was known as the "municipal patroness" because she gave so many public gifts to the citizens of Milwaukee?
+
*<s>'''ALT1'''  ... that '''[[Elizabeth Plankinton]]''' was known as the "municipal patroness" because she gave so many public gifts to the citizens of Milwaukee? ,</s>
*'''ALT2''' ... that '''[[Elizabeth Plankinton]]''' was known as the "municipal patroness" because of her philanthropy of public gifts to the citizens of Milwaukee?   
+
*<s>'''ALT2''' ... that '''[[Elizabeth Plankinton]]''' was known as the "municipal patroness" because of her philanthropy of public gifts to the citizens of Milwaukee? </s>  
 
{{ping|EdChem}} - removed Orangemike as co-editor and proposing ALT1 & ALT2 hooks.--[[User:Doug Coldwell|Doug Coldwell]] ([[User talk:Doug Coldwell|talk]]) 11:31, 22 January 2017 (UTC)
 
{{ping|EdChem}} - removed Orangemike as co-editor and proposing ALT1 & ALT2 hooks.--[[User:Doug Coldwell|Doug Coldwell]] ([[User talk:Doug Coldwell|talk]]) 11:31, 22 January 2017 (UTC)
 
:In my reading of this article, Plankiton's philanthropy included a monument to Washington and the first YWCA building.  Either of these could be worked into a hook and accompanied by an image.  The monument image used on its page is not great because of the background but there are plenty online, and surely one could be found for the hook and article?  A hook could be something like "that '''[[Elizabeth Plankinton]]''' was known as the "municipal patroness" for her philanthropy, which included gifting the MONUMENT / BUILDING ''(pictured)'' to the citizens of Milwaukee?"  I can approve one of your present suggestions, {{u|Doug Coldwell}}, they are interesting enough (IMO), but I think illustrating the scale of her philanthropy would be more interesting.  The image of her is also a potential hook image, as in "that '''[[Elizabeth Plankinton]]''' ''(pictured)'' was ...".  What is your view?  [[User:EdChem|EdChem]] ([[User talk:EdChem|talk]]) 12:27, 22 January 2017 (UTC)
 
:In my reading of this article, Plankiton's philanthropy included a monument to Washington and the first YWCA building.  Either of these could be worked into a hook and accompanied by an image.  The monument image used on its page is not great because of the background but there are plenty online, and surely one could be found for the hook and article?  A hook could be something like "that '''[[Elizabeth Plankinton]]''' was known as the "municipal patroness" for her philanthropy, which included gifting the MONUMENT / BUILDING ''(pictured)'' to the citizens of Milwaukee?"  I can approve one of your present suggestions, {{u|Doug Coldwell}}, they are interesting enough (IMO), but I think illustrating the scale of her philanthropy would be more interesting.  The image of her is also a potential hook image, as in "that '''[[Elizabeth Plankinton]]''' ''(pictured)'' was ...".  What is your view?  [[User:EdChem|EdChem]] ([[User talk:EdChem|talk]]) 12:27, 22 January 2017 (UTC)
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{{main page image|image=File:Elizabeth Plankinton, ca 1899.jpg|caption=Elizabeth Plankinton, ca 1891|width=120x133}}
 
{{main page image|image=File:Elizabeth Plankinton, ca 1899.jpg|caption=Elizabeth Plankinton, ca 1891|width=120x133}}
 
</div>
 
</div>
*'''ALT3''': ... that '''[[Elizabeth Plankinton]]''' ''(pictured)'' was known as the "municipal patroness" for her philanthropy, which included gifting the [[Washington Monument (Milwaukee)|George Washington bronze sculpture]] to the citizens of Milwaukee?
+
*<s>'''ALT3''': ... that '''[[Elizabeth Plankinton]]''' ''(pictured)'' was known as the "municipal patroness" for her philanthropy, which included gifting the [[Washington Monument (Milwaukee)|George Washington bronze sculpture]] to the citizens of Milwaukee? </s>
 
'''Comment''' - not sure if I formatted Elizabeth's picture correctly. If wrong, can someone with more technical skills fix for me. Thanks--[[User:Doug Coldwell|Doug Coldwell]] ([[User talk:Doug Coldwell|talk]]) 13:24, 22 January 2017 (UTC) <small>I added the missing div tags, otherwise it was fine. :)  [[User:EdChem|EdChem]] ([[User talk:EdChem|talk]]) 13:40, 22 January 2017 (UTC)</small>
 
'''Comment''' - not sure if I formatted Elizabeth's picture correctly. If wrong, can someone with more technical skills fix for me. Thanks--[[User:Doug Coldwell|Doug Coldwell]] ([[User talk:Doug Coldwell|talk]]) 13:24, 22 January 2017 (UTC) <small>I added the missing div tags, otherwise it was fine. :)  [[User:EdChem|EdChem]] ([[User talk:EdChem|talk]]) 13:40, 22 January 2017 (UTC)</small>
 
:*Additional Q.P.Q. [[Template:Did you know nominations/Paul Dibb]]
 
:*Additional Q.P.Q. [[Template:Did you know nominations/Paul Dibb]]
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*'''ALT3a''': ... that '''[[Elizabeth Plankinton]]''' ''(pictured)'', known as the "municipal patroness" for her philanthropy, gifted a 9-foot-high [[Washington Monument (Milwaukee)|bronze George Washington sculpture]] to the citizens of Milwaukee?
 
*'''ALT3a''': ... that '''[[Elizabeth Plankinton]]''' ''(pictured)'', known as the "municipal patroness" for her philanthropy, gifted a 9-foot-high [[Washington Monument (Milwaukee)|bronze George Washington sculpture]] to the citizens of Milwaukee?
 
AlT3a is only 171 characters (as the "(pictured)" doesn't count), ALT3 is 179, and ALT3a includes the height.  The article gives it as <nowiki>110'', which is 9'2'',</nowiki> and I have added a reference.  What do you think?  Note: This does not invalidate the tick for ALT3.  [[User:EdChem|EdChem]] ([[User talk:EdChem|talk]]) 04:40, 23 January 2017 (UTC)   
 
AlT3a is only 171 characters (as the "(pictured)" doesn't count), ALT3 is 179, and ALT3a includes the height.  The article gives it as <nowiki>110'', which is 9'2'',</nowiki> and I have added a reference.  What do you think?  Note: This does not invalidate the tick for ALT3.  [[User:EdChem|EdChem]] ([[User talk:EdChem|talk]]) 04:40, 23 January 2017 (UTC)   
 +
:::{{ping|EdChem}} '''Very nice improvement''' for the hook. I want to go with your suggestion of ALT3a. I was bold and stuck out the original hook and ALT 1 & 2 & 3. --[[User:Doug Coldwell|Doug Coldwell]] ([[User talk:Doug Coldwell|talk]]) 11:47, 23 January 2017 (UTC)
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 +
 
{{-}}}}<!--Please do not write below this line or remove this line. Place comments above this line.-->
 
{{-}}}}<!--Please do not write below this line or remove this line. Place comments above this line.-->

Revision as of 11:48, 23 January 2017

Elizabeth Plankinton

  • ... that Elizabeth Plankinton was known as the "municipal patroness" because of her generosity in giving so many public gifts to the citizens of Milwaukee?
Source Ref #2 for hook - "Elizabeth Anne Plankinton was John's only daughter by his second wife, continued in her father's tradition of philanthropy and was known as the 'municipal patroness'."
Source Ref #12 for hook - "Miss Plankinton, who in October 1909 was the subject of a magazine sketch in which she was referred to as "the municipal patroness" because of her generosity."

5x expanded by Doug Coldwell (talk). Nominated by Doug Coldwell (talk) at 15:07, 10 January 2017 (UTC).

  • Review
  • Length and expansion are fine, article includes citations and is policy-compliant
  • Earwig finds no copyvio issues and I noted no close paraphrasing issues during my copy edit.
  • Hook fact is supported by sources and in-line citations, as required.
  • Hook is ok but I think we can do much better – will expand on that later as in a rush now.
  • Confused by crediting of Orangemike, as far as I can see this editor did not edit any of the expansion. Template:U, would you please explain for me?
  • QPQ review does not saying anything about copyvio (though Earwig confirms there is not a problem) and Template:U has suspended the nomination for a copyedit and tagged the article. In my opinion, Yoninah is correct that a copy edit is needed, there are clearly sentence fragments, poor grammar, and some parts that I struggle to parse.
  • Symbol question.svg There are a couple of small issues here, and I'd like a better hook. Will post again on that point in a few hours. EdChem (talk) 07:48, 22 January 2017 (UTC)
  • ALT1 ... that Elizabeth Plankinton was known as the "municipal patroness" because she gave so many public gifts to the citizens of Milwaukee? ,
  • ALT2 ... that Elizabeth Plankinton was known as the "municipal patroness" because of her philanthropy of public gifts to the citizens of Milwaukee?

Template:Ping - removed Orangemike as co-editor and proposing ALT1 & ALT2 hooks.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:31, 22 January 2017 (UTC)

In my reading of this article, Plankiton's philanthropy included a monument to Washington and the first YWCA building. Either of these could be worked into a hook and accompanied by an image. The monument image used on its page is not great because of the background but there are plenty online, and surely one could be found for the hook and article? A hook could be something like "that Elizabeth Plankinton was known as the "municipal patroness" for her philanthropy, which included gifting the MONUMENT / BUILDING (pictured) to the citizens of Milwaukee?" I can approve one of your present suggestions, Template:U, they are interesting enough (IMO), but I think illustrating the scale of her philanthropy would be more interesting. The image of her is also a potential hook image, as in "that Elizabeth Plankinton (pictured) was ...". What is your view? EdChem (talk) 12:27, 22 January 2017 (UTC)
Template:Ping Good suggestions = let me work on these ideas and get back to you in a few hours with some more ALT proposals.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:41, 22 January 2017 (UTC)
Elizabeth Plankinton, ca 1891
Elizabeth Plankinton, ca 1891

Comment - not sure if I formatted Elizabeth's picture correctly. If wrong, can someone with more technical skills fix for me. Thanks--Doug Coldwell (talk) 13:24, 22 January 2017 (UTC) I added the missing div tags, otherwise it was fine. :) EdChem (talk) 13:40, 22 January 2017 (UTC)

Template:Ping I also like Elizabeth's picture. Would ALT3 work for you?--Doug Coldwell (talk) 13:24, 22 January 2017 (UTC)
Template:Ping I think ALT3 is much better from an interest perspective and is compliant in terms of hook length, image is on commons with a free license, additional QPQ review appreciated.
Symbol confirmed.svg ALT3 is ready. EdChem (talk) 13:40, 22 January 2017 (UTC)

Template:Ping I've been wondering about whether ALT3 conveys the size of the sculpture. Gifting a sculpture could be a small item, after all. Yet, we have taken most of the 200 characters. I'm wondering what you think of something like:

AlT3a is only 171 characters (as the "(pictured)" doesn't count), ALT3 is 179, and ALT3a includes the height. The article gives it as 110'', which is 9'2'', and I have added a reference. What do you think? Note: This does not invalidate the tick for ALT3. EdChem (talk) 04:40, 23 January 2017 (UTC)

Template:Ping Very nice improvement for the hook. I want to go with your suggestion of ALT3a. I was bold and stuck out the original hook and ALT 1 & 2 & 3. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:47, 23 January 2017 (UTC)