Template:Did you know nominations/Hannah Kempfer

The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by BlueMoonset (talk) 08:04, 1 May 2012 (UTC)

Hannah Kempfer

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• Article history )

Hannah Kempfer (circa 1922)

• ... that after being born on a ship in the North Sea and growing up in poverty, Hannah Kempfer (pictured) went on to become one of the first women legislators in Minnesota?

• Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/Eucalyptus aggregata

Created/expanded by Gobonobo (talk). Self nom at 05:51, 30 March 2012 (UTC)

This article came to my attention via my routine new page patrol of medical articles at User:AlexNewArtBot/MedicineSearchResult. I found numerous sourcing problems (see my edit summaries), indicating perhaps the article was prepared in a rush or sources got mixed up. Some of the text was not supported by the source listed, some still isn't, some of it I subsequently found in different sources, and I did see some paraphrasing that was a bit too close for comfort, but that can't be sorted until the article's sourcing is reviewed. I'm done with my new page patrol issues here, but hope the editor who reviews this DYK will make sure that correct sourcing and paraphrasing is sorted. (I can add, however, that the hook is sourced.) SandyGeorgia (Talk) 16:29, 30 March 2012 (UTC)

Thanks Sandy. I've addressed the sourcing/phrasing issues and responded to specifics on the talk page. Gobōnobo ^{+ c} 00:54, 3 April 2012 (UTC)

Oops, sorry-- I forgot this was at DYK ... everything I saw seems sorted now. That's not a DYK review, though-- that's a New page patrol review~! SandyGeorgia (Talk) 00:55, 3 April 2012 (UTC)

• 16px Article new enough, long enough. I see a variety of refs. For those online, I see some instances of close paraphrasing, especially in the account of her birth at sea. As the Lein book has no Google preview, I am unable to confirm that the second paragraph under Early Life isn't also closely paraphrased, though it reads like it. In all, the writing seems story-ish in many places. I'd like to suggest that the page creator go through it again with an eye to re-stating the information in his/her own words, using a more encyclopedic tone. Best, Yoninah (talk) 20:42, 21 April 2012 (UTC)

16px I've gone through and corrected instances of close paraphrasing and removed some parts that were overly story-ish. Gobōnobo ^{+ c} 23:06, 29 April 2012 (UTC)

• 16px I am just now seeing your update on this DYK nomination regarding the changes you made over a week ago. Thank you – you did an excellent job making the writing less story-ish and more encyclopedic. I have no more concerns about close paraphasing. The hook ref is verified and it's good to go. Yoninah (talk) 16:54, 30 April 2012 (UTC)