Difference between revisions of "Template:Did you know nominations/History of Franz Josef Land"
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imported>PFHLai ({{subst:DYK?again}} Any progress here? Time for re-review, please?) |
imported>EagerToddler39 (Comment on DYK) |
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::*Thank you for the review. I did some copyediting of the lead section, on grammar and wording. Since I do not have access to the the main source (Barr 1995), I can not change too much. Will try to find some way to handle the inline citation of the hook. [[User:Oceanh|Oceanh]] ([[User talk:Oceanh|talk]]) 15:32, 28 January 2014 (UTC) | ::*Thank you for the review. I did some copyediting of the lead section, on grammar and wording. Since I do not have access to the the main source (Barr 1995), I can not change too much. Will try to find some way to handle the inline citation of the hook. [[User:Oceanh|Oceanh]] ([[User talk:Oceanh|talk]]) 15:32, 28 January 2014 (UTC) | ||
::::[[File:Symbol redirect vote 4.svg|16px]] Any progress here? Time for re-review, please? --[[User:PFHLai|PFHLai]] ([[User talk:PFHLai|talk]]) 20:37, 8 February 2014 (UTC) | ::::[[File:Symbol redirect vote 4.svg|16px]] Any progress here? Time for re-review, please? --[[User:PFHLai|PFHLai]] ([[User talk:PFHLai|talk]]) 20:37, 8 February 2014 (UTC) | ||
| + | :::::*[[File:Symbol question.svg|16px]] - Would have appreciated a ping [[User talk:Oceanh]] after your response given it was four days later. The issue I raised with the lay-out of the article was not addressed. The hook fact is not easily located in the article considering that several discoveries were made. I reiterate that you could summarize the different claims to discovery at the beginning of the ''Discovery'' section and then create further sub-headings for each. Hook fact is still not cited inline. The article also needs to be copy-edited to remove some clumsy/unclear structures: eg. "conducted hunting", "the ice hindered the further progression", "With the basic geography of Franz Josef Land had become apparent, expeditions shifted to using the archipelago as a basis to reach the North Pole", " taking on board 121 dogs in Arkhangelsk, whence they left on 12 July". How is sailing by land possible: "organized an expedition to sail as far north by land as possible"? This statement "In May 1865 the Russian magazine Morskoy sbornik published an article by N. G. Schilling, who argued that the current and ice conditions in the Barents Sea would require a landmass between Novaya Zemlya and Svalbard", among others, is unclear. Fix the clumsy repetition of decided here "Nansen decided that the pole was not within reach and decided on 7 April to instead", "<s>who</s> whom he soon recognized as Nansen". There are many other fixes required before the article can be suitable enough for the front page. [[User:EagerToddler39|EagerToddler39]] ([[User talk:EagerToddler39|talk]]) 16:57, 9 February 2014 (UTC) | ||
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Revision as of 16:57, 9 February 2014
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History of Franz Josef Land
- ... that the first announced discovery of Franz Josef Land (situation pictured) was made by an expedition of 1872–74, which primary goal was to find the Northeast Passage?
- Reviewed: Not a self-nomination
Created by Arsenikk (talk). Nominated by Oceanh (talk) at 06:22, 17 January 2014 (UTC).
Article requires copyediting for flow. Language sounds pretty clumsy in quite a few cases. Eg. "The vessel drifted to the for them unknown archipelago". The hook is not sourced inline but the source appears in the subsequent sentence. Locate a source here. I'm also concerned about the lay-out. There is a section entitled "Discovery" and as a DYK reader visiting the article I would expect to find the information about the discovery of the islands under this subheading. Yet the first announced discovery appears under early expeditions. Even if you want to maintain the second sub-heading I would recommend including the facts of the different claims to discovery in the "Discovery" section. Once the copyediting has been done I'll do a more thorough review. Also I would love to see a more condensed reference list. Most references are to different pages in the same book. I'll go in and make those changes. If another editor disagrees with that then he/she could always revert. Evidently the entire article relies heavily on one main source. I would love to be able to go in and check for copyvio issues but the source isn't available online. The article is quite lengthy so I would be fearful of AGF with close paraphrasing or copyvio. However, given the creator's significant contributions I would let this slide. EagerToddler39 (talk) 22:49, 24 January 2014 (UTC)
- Thank you for the review. I did some copyediting of the lead section, on grammar and wording. Since I do not have access to the the main source (Barr 1995), I can not change too much. Will try to find some way to handle the inline citation of the hook. Oceanh (talk) 15:32, 28 January 2014 (UTC)
Any progress here? Time for re-review, please? --PFHLai (talk) 20:37, 8 February 2014 (UTC)
- Would have appreciated a ping User talk:Oceanh after your response given it was four days later. The issue I raised with the lay-out of the article was not addressed. The hook fact is not easily located in the article considering that several discoveries were made. I reiterate that you could summarize the different claims to discovery at the beginning of the Discovery section and then create further sub-headings for each. Hook fact is still not cited inline. The article also needs to be copy-edited to remove some clumsy/unclear structures: eg. "conducted hunting", "the ice hindered the further progression", "With the basic geography of Franz Josef Land had become apparent, expeditions shifted to using the archipelago as a basis to reach the North Pole", " taking on board 121 dogs in Arkhangelsk, whence they left on 12 July". How is sailing by land possible: "organized an expedition to sail as far north by land as possible"? This statement "In May 1865 the Russian magazine Morskoy sbornik published an article by N. G. Schilling, who argued that the current and ice conditions in the Barents Sea would require a landmass between Novaya Zemlya and Svalbard", among others, is unclear. Fix the clumsy repetition of decided here "Nansen decided that the pole was not within reach and decided on 7 April to instead", "whowhom he soon recognized as Nansen". There are many other fixes required before the article can be suitable enough for the front page. EagerToddler39 (talk) 16:57, 9 February 2014 (UTC)
