Difference between revisions of "Template:Did you know nominations/Organ transplantation in Tamil Nadu"

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::*'''ALT1:''' ... that [[organ donation]] of a road accident casualty drew public awareness for '''[[Organ transplantation in Tamil Nadu|organ donation in Tamil Nadu]]'''?
 
::*'''ALT1:''' ... that [[organ donation]] of a road accident casualty drew public awareness for '''[[Organ transplantation in Tamil Nadu|organ donation in Tamil Nadu]]'''?
 
::*'''ALT2:''' ... that the Indian state of '''[[Organ transplantation in Tamil Nadu|Tamil Nadu]]''' was first to use ''green corridors'' for the transportation of [[Organ donation|organs]] to expedite [[Organ transplantation|transplants]]?
 
::*'''ALT2:''' ... that the Indian state of '''[[Organ transplantation in Tamil Nadu|Tamil Nadu]]''' was first to use ''green corridors'' for the transportation of [[Organ donation|organs]] to expedite [[Organ transplantation|transplants]]?
::{{u|Yoninah}}, Thanks. I have rewrote all of those and improved the article overall. Let me know what you think of the additional hooks above. [[User:Shanze1|Shanze1]] ([[User talk:Shanze1|talk]]) 07:05, 25 May 2020 (UTC)
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::{{u|Yoninah}}, Thanks. I rewrote all of those and improved the article overall. Let me know what you think of the additional hooks above. [[User:Shanze1|Shanze1]] ([[User talk:Shanze1|talk]]) 07:05, 25 May 2020 (UTC)
  
 
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Revision as of 07:06, 25 May 2020

Organ transplantation in Tamil Nadu

  • ... that the state of Tamil Nadu ranks first in India in deceased organ donation rate at 1.8 per million population, which is seven times higher than the national average? Source: [1]

Created by Shanze1 (talk). Self-nominated at 08:48, 23 April 2020 (UTC).

  • Lua error: expandTemplate: template "y" does not exist.
  • Symbol possible vote.svg Hi, I came by to promote this, and did some editing and wikifying of the article. There is close paraphrasing from the sources which should be rewritten in your own words. Switching around the same words in a sentence is still close paraphrasing.
  • Source: The southern state is the first Indian state to make certification of brain death mandatory,
  • Article: the first Indian state to make certification of brain death mandatory
  • Source: This enhances the chances of deceased organ donations.
  • Article: it enhances the chances of deceased organ donations.
  • Source: There is also a set of guidelines for non-transplant centres in Tamil Nadu to ensure that all organs get used
  • Article: Guidelines for non-transplant centres in Tamil Nadu were set to ensure that all organs get used.
  • Source: a 10-year compilation of post-transplant data of patients. Through this exercise, data on how well patients are doing after transplants and survival rates are available.
  • Article: a ten-year compilation of post-transplant data of patients which outlines how well patients are doing after transplants and their survival rates
  • Source: overseen by an Executive Committee which includes the Principal Secretary to Government of Tamil Nadu, Health & Family Welfare Dept.
  • Article: overseen by an executive committee which includes the principal secretary to the Government of Tamil Nadu's Department of Health and Family Welfare.
  • I also added a "clarification needed" tag. Please explain what a "green corridor" is.
  • Regarding the hook, it could be better. Other than a statistic, could you pull something more colorful out of the article? Mentioning the "green corridor" in the context of organ transplants might be interesting. Yoninah (talk) 23:40, 23 May 2020 (UTC)
Hey, Yonihah. Hope you're well. I noticed the close paraphrasing as well but for most of these I didn't how see much differently he could rephrase them in order to avoid it.--Maleschreiber (talk) 23:15, 24 May 2020 (UTC)
Template:U, Thanks. I rewrote all of those and improved the article overall. Let me know what you think of the additional hooks above. Shanze1 (talk) 07:05, 25 May 2020 (UTC)

Template:Reflist-talk

  1. Vipin, Koushal; Raman, Sharma; Ashok, Kumar. "Impact of green corridors in organ donation: A single-center experience". Indian Journal of Transplantation. 12 (2): 110–112.