Difference between revisions of "Template:Did you know nominations/Persis Foster Eames Albee"

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imported>Gerda Arendt
(comments)
imported>Doug Coldwell
(Made those corrections you suggested. Will that work?)
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* ... that '''[[Persis Foster Eames Albee|PFE Albee]]''' ''(pictured)'' is considered the very first "Avon Lady" and was followed by 500,000 more?   
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* <s>... that '''[[Persis Foster Eames Albee|PFE Albee]]''' ''(pictured)'' is considered the very first "Avon Lady" and was followed by 500,000 more?</s>  
 
Source is James: <small>[https://books.google.com/books?id=HwWup-RrMuMC&pg=PA32&dq=Avon+Lady+500,000&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjZsNKR5KPTAhUm4oMKHUkIBS0Q6AEIIzAA#v=onepage&q=Avon%20Lady%20500%2C000&f=false "With over 500,000 Avon ladies in the United States, Avon has been careful to partner with them"] '''and''' Olsen: [https://books.google.com/books?id=jFY3CxmHk4cC&pg=PA157#v=onepage&q&f=false c. 1886, U.S. saleswoman PFE ALbee becomes the first of about of about a half million "Avon Ladies."]</small> as refs #28 & #29.
 
Source is James: <small>[https://books.google.com/books?id=HwWup-RrMuMC&pg=PA32&dq=Avon+Lady+500,000&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjZsNKR5KPTAhUm4oMKHUkIBS0Q6AEIIzAA#v=onepage&q=Avon%20Lady%20500%2C000&f=false "With over 500,000 Avon ladies in the United States, Avon has been careful to partner with them"] '''and''' Olsen: [https://books.google.com/books?id=jFY3CxmHk4cC&pg=PA157#v=onepage&q&f=false c. 1886, U.S. saleswoman PFE ALbee becomes the first of about of about a half million "Avon Ladies."]</small> as refs #28 & #29.
 
:* ''Reviewed'': [[Template:Did you know nominations/D. J. Wilson]] - using [[User:Doug Coldwell/Doug Coldwell QPQs| second of two]].
 
:* ''Reviewed'': [[Template:Did you know nominations/D. J. Wilson]] - using [[User:Doug Coldwell/Doug Coldwell QPQs| second of two]].
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: Please check if every new section has her name (and not just "she") when referring to her.
 
: Please check if every new section has her name (and not just "she") when referring to her.
 
: Someone will tag the article for "lead too short", better avoid that. --[[User:Gerda Arendt|Gerda Arendt]] ([[User talk:Gerda Arendt|talk]]) 10:10, 19 April 2017 (UTC)
 
: Someone will tag the article for "lead too short", better avoid that. --[[User:Gerda Arendt|Gerda Arendt]] ([[User talk:Gerda Arendt|talk]]) 10:10, 19 April 2017 (UTC)
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::{{ping|Gerda Arendt}} Great ideas so I could improve the article. I learn a lot from you and it shows that you are an experienced editor. Made those corrections you suggested. Will that work? I struck the original hook, as I would rather go with your '''ALT1''' suggestion.--[[User:Doug Coldwell|Doug Coldwell]] ([[User talk:Doug Coldwell|talk]]) 11:56, 19 April 2017 (UTC)
  
 
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Revision as of 11:56, 19 April 2017

Persis Foster Eames Albee

PFE Albee 1886
PFE Albee 1886
  • ... that PFE Albee (pictured) is considered the very first "Avon Lady" and was followed by 500,000 more?

Source is James: "With over 500,000 Avon ladies in the United States, Avon has been careful to partner with them" and Olsen: c. 1886, U.S. saleswoman PFE ALbee becomes the first of about of about a half million "Avon Ladies." as refs #28 & #29.

Created by Doug Coldwell (talk) and 7&6=thirteen (talk). Nominated by Doug Coldwell (talk) at 11:46, 14 April 2017 (UTC).

Symbol question.svg Interesting life, on good sources, no copyvio obvious. The image is licensed and the perfect match. - Minor questions: I would word the hook differently, how is this?
ALT1: ... that PFE Albee (pictured) is considered the first "Avon Lady", followed by about a half million others?
Her parents: when I read about a father and a mother, I assume they were not married, otherwise I'd expect "and his wife". I may be wrong ;)
I can't tell if she's known as PFE, because the lead says only "also".
I guess she was born Eames, not Albee.
I find it funny to read about her husband's profession a while after they got married.
"There has been about 450,000 Avon Ladies", I'd expect "There have been about 450,000 Avon Ladies", or better no "there" at the beginning anyway ;)
Please check if every new section has her name (and not just "she") when referring to her.
Someone will tag the article for "lead too short", better avoid that. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 10:10, 19 April 2017 (UTC)
Template:Ping Great ideas so I could improve the article. I learn a lot from you and it shows that you are an experienced editor. Made those corrections you suggested. Will that work? I struck the original hook, as I would rather go with your ALT1 suggestion.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:56, 19 April 2017 (UTC)