Difference between revisions of "Template:Did you know nominations/Wanjira Mathai"

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imported>Achaea
(response)
imported>Yoninah
(ALT5a good to go)
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* <s>... that '''[[Wanjira Mathai]]''' is the daughter of 2004 [[Nobel Peace Prize]] winner, [[Wangari Maathai]]?</s> [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/magazine-38222562/my-mother-the-nobel-peace-prize-pioneer source]
 
* <s>... that '''[[Wanjira Mathai]]''' is the daughter of 2004 [[Nobel Peace Prize]] winner, [[Wangari Maathai]]?</s> [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/magazine-38222562/my-mother-the-nobel-peace-prize-pioneer source]
** '''ALT1''':... that '''[[Wanjira Mathai]]''' was selected as one of 100 Most Influential Africans in 2018?  [https://kiss100.co.ke/11-kenyans100-influential-africans/ source]
+
** '''ALT1''':<s>... that '''[[Wanjira Mathai]]''' was selected as one of 100 Most Influential Africans in 2018?</s> [https://kiss100.co.ke/11-kenyans100-influential-africans/ source]
 
:* ''Reviewed'': [[Template:Did you know nominations/Tore Wretman|Tore Wretman]]
 
:* ''Reviewed'': [[Template:Did you know nominations/Tore Wretman|Tore Wretman]]
 
<small>Created by [[User:Jesswade88|Jesswade88]] ([[User talk:Jesswade88|talk]]). Nominated by [[User:Achaea|Achaea]] ([[User talk:Achaea|talk]]) at 20:09, 29 December 2019 (UTC).</small>
 
<small>Created by [[User:Jesswade88|Jesswade88]] ([[User talk:Jesswade88|talk]]). Nominated by [[User:Achaea|Achaea]] ([[User talk:Achaea|talk]]) at 20:09, 29 December 2019 (UTC).</small>
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:::* [[File:Symbol confirmed.svg|16px]] {{U|Achaea}}, thanks for the speedy reply and fixing. Much better now and this is G2G. [[User:HickoryOughtShirt?4|HickoryOughtShirt?4]] ([[User talk:HickoryOughtShirt?4|talk]]) 09:28, 30 December 2019 (UTC)
 
:::* [[File:Symbol confirmed.svg|16px]] {{U|Achaea}}, thanks for the speedy reply and fixing. Much better now and this is G2G. [[User:HickoryOughtShirt?4|HickoryOughtShirt?4]] ([[User talk:HickoryOughtShirt?4|talk]]) 09:28, 30 December 2019 (UTC)
 
::::*[[File:Symbol question.svg|16px]] The ALT1 hook really says nothing about who she is or what she's famous for. I think a lot of readers won't even bother to click on this. Can you suggest something more hooky? [[User:Yoninah|Yoninah]] ([[User talk:Yoninah|talk]]) 23:23, 1 January 2020 (UTC)
 
::::*[[File:Symbol question.svg|16px]] The ALT1 hook really says nothing about who she is or what she's famous for. I think a lot of readers won't even bother to click on this. Can you suggest something more hooky? [[User:Yoninah|Yoninah]] ([[User talk:Yoninah|talk]]) 23:23, 1 January 2020 (UTC)
:::: What about  '''ALT2''':... that '''[[Wanjira Mathai]]''' serves as Senior Advisor for wPOWER, which looks to train women in East Africa to become leaders in renewable energy?'[[User:Jesswade88|Jesswade88]] ([[User talk:Jesswade88|talk]]) 21:34, 2 January 2020 (UTC)
+
:::: What about  '''ALT2''':<s>... that '''[[Wanjira Mathai]]''' serves as Senior Advisor for wPOWER, which looks to train women in East Africa to become leaders in renewable energy?'</s>[[User:Jesswade88|Jesswade88]] ([[User talk:Jesswade88|talk]]) 21:34, 2 January 2020 (UTC)
 
:::::* {{re|Yoninah}} Thanks for the comment, seems I was suggesting alts at the same time as Jesswade88, so you've got your pick. Let me know if any of these would be better in your opinion. [[User:Achaea|Achaea]] ([[User talk:Achaea|talk]]) 21:39, 2 January 2020 (UTC)
 
:::::* {{re|Yoninah}} Thanks for the comment, seems I was suggesting alts at the same time as Jesswade88, so you've got your pick. Let me know if any of these would be better in your opinion. [[User:Achaea|Achaea]] ([[User talk:Achaea|talk]]) 21:39, 2 January 2020 (UTC)
:::::: '''ALT3''':... that '''[[Wanjira Mathai]]''' oversees [[AFR100]], an initiative to restore over 100 million hectares of land in Africa by 2030?
+
:::::: '''ALT3''':<s>... that '''[[Wanjira Mathai]]''' oversees [[AFR100]], an initiative to restore over 100 million hectares of land in Africa by 2030?</s>
:::::: '''ALT4''':... that '''[[Wanjira Mathai]]''' is the Regional Director for Africa at [[World Resources Institute]]?
+
:::::: '''ALT4''':<s>... that '''[[Wanjira Mathai]]''' is the Regional Director for Africa at [[World Resources Institute]]?</s>
 
:::::::*{{ping|Jesswade88}} and {{ping|Achaea}} thank you for the alts, but "Did you know that X=Y" is not a great hook and generally should be avoided. It would be better to say her name and who she is/what she does, and tack on to that a hooky fact. I also note that the lead is too short; it should summarize the article, especially mentioning what she's notable for. And there's no mention of her in the [[AFR100]] article. [[User:Yoninah|Yoninah]] ([[User talk:Yoninah|talk]]) 22:18, 2 January 2020 (UTC)
 
:::::::*{{ping|Jesswade88}} and {{ping|Achaea}} thank you for the alts, but "Did you know that X=Y" is not a great hook and generally should be avoided. It would be better to say her name and who she is/what she does, and tack on to that a hooky fact. I also note that the lead is too short; it should summarize the article, especially mentioning what she's notable for. And there's no mention of her in the [[AFR100]] article. [[User:Yoninah|Yoninah]] ([[User talk:Yoninah|talk]]) 22:18, 2 January 2020 (UTC)
 
::::::::* {{re|Yoninah}} I think both ALT2 and ALT3 highlight her acomplishments and fit into what you suggest (i.e. her name, what she is/does + hooky fact). I also think 'hooky fact' is very much subjective. There is no mention of her by name in the [[AFR100]] article, but it mentions the WRI, which she is regional director for. Maybe one of these will tickle your fancy? [[User:Achaea|Achaea]] ([[User talk:Achaea|talk]]) 10:02, 3 January 2020 (UTC)
 
::::::::* {{re|Yoninah}} I think both ALT2 and ALT3 highlight her acomplishments and fit into what you suggest (i.e. her name, what she is/does + hooky fact). I also think 'hooky fact' is very much subjective. There is no mention of her by name in the [[AFR100]] article, but it mentions the WRI, which she is regional director for. Maybe one of these will tickle your fancy? [[User:Achaea|Achaea]] ([[User talk:Achaea|talk]]) 10:02, 3 January 2020 (UTC)
 
::::::::: '''ALT5''':... that '''[[Wanjira Mathai]]''' aims to continue her mother's, environmentalist  [[Wangari Maathai]], work by restoring 12.6 million hectares of land by 2030? [https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/food/the-plate/2016/october/in-kenya--the-answer-to-climate-change-may-be-in-the-trees/ source]
 
::::::::: '''ALT5''':... that '''[[Wanjira Mathai]]''' aims to continue her mother's, environmentalist  [[Wangari Maathai]], work by restoring 12.6 million hectares of land by 2030? [https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/food/the-plate/2016/october/in-kenya--the-answer-to-climate-change-may-be-in-the-trees/ source]
::::::::: '''ALT6''':... that '''[[Wanjira Mathai]]''' was inspired to work on [[agroforestry]] by her mother, [[Wangari Maathai]], and her environmental movement? [https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/food/the-plate/2016/october/in-kenya--the-answer-to-climate-change-may-be-in-the-trees/ source]
+
::::::::: '''ALT6''':<s>... that '''[[Wanjira Mathai]]''' was inspired to work on [[agroforestry]] by her mother, [[Wangari Maathai]], and her environmental movement? </s>[https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/food/the-plate/2016/october/in-kenya--the-answer-to-climate-change-may-be-in-the-trees/ source]
 
::::::::::*{{ping|Achaea}} I don't spend my time building prep sets based on my own personal preferences. My goal has always been to find the best hooks that will attract the most hits. I also spend time updating [[WP:DYKSTATS]], from which I get a good idea of what kinds of hooks our readership clicks on most. To my mind, every hook should be a winner. I do let some mediocre ones slip by because the article is too short on detail, but every hook really should qualify for the lead or "quirky" slot. I think your ALT5 is very good, but the article doesn't make the connection between her mother and this work. [[User:Yoninah|Yoninah]] ([[User talk:Yoninah|talk]]) 13:31, 3 January 2020 (UTC)
 
::::::::::*{{ping|Achaea}} I don't spend my time building prep sets based on my own personal preferences. My goal has always been to find the best hooks that will attract the most hits. I also spend time updating [[WP:DYKSTATS]], from which I get a good idea of what kinds of hooks our readership clicks on most. To my mind, every hook should be a winner. I do let some mediocre ones slip by because the article is too short on detail, but every hook really should qualify for the lead or "quirky" slot. I think your ALT5 is very good, but the article doesn't make the connection between her mother and this work. [[User:Yoninah|Yoninah]] ([[User talk:Yoninah|talk]]) 13:31, 3 January 2020 (UTC)
 
:::::::::::*{{ping|Yoninah}} Fair enough, I've added the information into the article based on the [https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/food/the-plate/2016/october/in-kenya--the-answer-to-climate-change-may-be-in-the-trees/ source] I linked about. [[User:Achaea|Achaea]] ([[User talk:Achaea|talk]]) 14:55, 3 January 2020 (UTC)
 
:::::::::::*{{ping|Yoninah}} Fair enough, I've added the information into the article based on the [https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/food/the-plate/2016/october/in-kenya--the-answer-to-climate-change-may-be-in-the-trees/ source] I linked about. [[User:Achaea|Achaea]] ([[User talk:Achaea|talk]]) 14:55, 3 January 2020 (UTC)
 +
::::::::::::*Great, thanks! ALT5 is verified and cited inline. I would just suggest smoothing out the hook this way:
 +
::::::::::::*'''ALT5a''': ... that '''[[Wanjira Mathai]]''' aims to continue the work of her mother, [[Nobel Peace Prize]]-winning environmentalist [[Wangari Maathai]], by restoring 12.6 million hectares of land in Kenya by 2030?
 +
::::::::::::*[[File:Symbol confirmed.svg|16px]] Rest of review per HickoryOughtShirt?4. ALT5a good to go. [[User:Yoninah|Yoninah]] ([[User talk:Yoninah|talk]]) 18:51, 7 January 2020 (UTC)
 
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Revision as of 18:52, 7 January 2020

Wanjira Mathai

Created by Jesswade88 (talk). Nominated by Achaea (talk) at 20:09, 29 December 2019 (UTC).

  • Symbol possible vote.svg Template:U, New enough, long enough, and neutrally worded. QPQ done and I prefer ALT1 as it focuses on her accomplishments not her parents. Please address the following issues before this can be approved:
  • The sentence "She studied international health in the Rollins School of Public Health at Emory University and graduated in 1996" is not supported by the source. The source says she earned her Masters degree (which should be specified) but does not give a date for graduating.
  • The sentence "The Green Belt Movement was founded by Mathai's mother Wanjira in 1977. Mathai served as Director of the Green Belt Movement from 2002 and in 2005 was made Executive Director of the international organisation" is not supported by the source. As well, interviews are considered WP:PRIMARY and a third source should be found.
  • Template:Ping Thanks for your comments! I have found additional sources for both those sentences and changed to wording to fit with the sources. Please let me know if this is okay, or you think it needs additional work. Achaea (talk) 09:22, 30 December 2019 (UTC)
  • Symbol question.svg The ALT1 hook really says nothing about who she is or what she's famous for. I think a lot of readers won't even bother to click on this. Can you suggest something more hooky? Yoninah (talk) 23:23, 1 January 2020 (UTC)
What about ALT2:... that Wanjira Mathai serves as Senior Advisor for wPOWER, which looks to train women in East Africa to become leaders in renewable energy?'Jesswade88 (talk) 21:34, 2 January 2020 (UTC)
  • Template:Re Thanks for the comment, seems I was suggesting alts at the same time as Jesswade88, so you've got your pick. Let me know if any of these would be better in your opinion. Achaea (talk) 21:39, 2 January 2020 (UTC)
ALT3:... that Wanjira Mathai oversees AFR100, an initiative to restore over 100 million hectares of land in Africa by 2030?
ALT4:... that Wanjira Mathai is the Regional Director for Africa at World Resources Institute?
  • Template:Ping and Template:Ping thank you for the alts, but "Did you know that X=Y" is not a great hook and generally should be avoided. It would be better to say her name and who she is/what she does, and tack on to that a hooky fact. I also note that the lead is too short; it should summarize the article, especially mentioning what she's notable for. And there's no mention of her in the AFR100 article. Yoninah (talk) 22:18, 2 January 2020 (UTC)
  • Template:Re I think both ALT2 and ALT3 highlight her acomplishments and fit into what you suggest (i.e. her name, what she is/does + hooky fact). I also think 'hooky fact' is very much subjective. There is no mention of her by name in the AFR100 article, but it mentions the WRI, which she is regional director for. Maybe one of these will tickle your fancy? Achaea (talk) 10:02, 3 January 2020 (UTC)
ALT5:... that Wanjira Mathai aims to continue her mother's, environmentalist Wangari Maathai, work by restoring 12.6 million hectares of land by 2030? source
ALT6:... that Wanjira Mathai was inspired to work on agroforestry by her mother, Wangari Maathai, and her environmental movement? source
  • Template:Ping I don't spend my time building prep sets based on my own personal preferences. My goal has always been to find the best hooks that will attract the most hits. I also spend time updating WP:DYKSTATS, from which I get a good idea of what kinds of hooks our readership clicks on most. To my mind, every hook should be a winner. I do let some mediocre ones slip by because the article is too short on detail, but every hook really should qualify for the lead or "quirky" slot. I think your ALT5 is very good, but the article doesn't make the connection between her mother and this work. Yoninah (talk) 13:31, 3 January 2020 (UTC)
  • Template:Ping Fair enough, I've added the information into the article based on the source I linked about. Achaea (talk) 14:55, 3 January 2020 (UTC)
  • Great, thanks! ALT5 is verified and cited inline. I would just suggest smoothing out the hook this way:
  • ALT5a: ... that Wanjira Mathai aims to continue the work of her mother, Nobel Peace Prize-winning environmentalist Wangari Maathai, by restoring 12.6 million hectares of land in Kenya by 2030?
  • Symbol confirmed.svg Rest of review per HickoryOughtShirt?4. ALT5a good to go. Yoninah (talk) 18:51, 7 January 2020 (UTC)