Difference between revisions of "Template:Did you know nominations/War Cemetery in Kohima"
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imported>Yoninah (add sig line; ALT3 good to go) |
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| − | * ... that in the '''[[War Cemetery in Kohima|2nd Division's War Cemetery in Kohima]]''' ''(pictured)'' of the [[Second World War]], the [[Kohima Epitaph]] reads, "When You Go Home, Tell Them of Us And Say, For Their Tomorrow, We Gave Our Today"? | + | *<s> ... that in the '''[[War Cemetery in Kohima|2nd Division's War Cemetery in Kohima]]''' ''(pictured)'' of the [[Second World War]], the [[Kohima Epitaph]] reads, "When You Go Home, Tell Them of Us And Say, For Their Tomorrow, We Gave Our Today"?</s> |
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| − | :* '''ALT1''':... that the '''[[War Cemetery in Kohima]]''' ''(pictured)'' has 1,420 Commonwealth burials of the [[Second World War]], including 917 [[Hindu]]s and [[Sikh]]s? | + | :* '''ALT1''':<s>... that the '''[[War Cemetery in Kohima]]''' ''(pictured)'' has 1,420 Commonwealth burials of the [[Second World War]], including 917 [[Hindu]]s and [[Sikh]]s?</s> |
:* ''Reviewed'': [[Template:Did you know nominations/Marie-Luise Gilles]] | :* ''Reviewed'': [[Template:Did you know nominations/Marie-Luise Gilles]] | ||
<small>Created by [[User:Nvvchar|Nvvchar]] ([[User talk:Nvvchar|talk]]). Self nominated at 01:43, 7 March 2015 (UTC)</small>. | <small>Created by [[User:Nvvchar|Nvvchar]] ([[User talk:Nvvchar|talk]]). Self nominated at 01:43, 7 March 2015 (UTC)</small>. | ||
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::*[[File:Symbol question.svg|16px]] The article could use some copyediting for English grammar. There is also the matter of this incomplete sentence at the end of the first paragraph under History: '''In this battle causalities from the commonwealth forces was – and to the Japanese division was -.''' [[User:Yoninah|Yoninah]] ([[User talk:Yoninah|talk]]) 02:06, 8 March 2015 (UTC) | ::*[[File:Symbol question.svg|16px]] The article could use some copyediting for English grammar. There is also the matter of this incomplete sentence at the end of the first paragraph under History: '''In this battle causalities from the commonwealth forces was – and to the Japanese division was -.''' [[User:Yoninah|Yoninah]] ([[User talk:Yoninah|talk]]) 02:06, 8 March 2015 (UTC) | ||
:* Deleted the sentence related to causalities as exact figures are not available. I have done some more copy editing.--'''[[User talk:Nvvchar|<span style="font-variant:small-caps;color:#003366">Nvvchar</span>]]'''. 04:01, 8 March 2015 (UTC) | :* Deleted the sentence related to causalities as exact figures are not available. I have done some more copy editing.--'''[[User talk:Nvvchar|<span style="font-variant:small-caps;color:#003366">Nvvchar</span>]]'''. 04:01, 8 March 2015 (UTC) | ||
| − | ::* [[File:Symbol question.svg|16px]] Thank you. I did some more copyediting and reference formatting. The article is new enough, long enough, neutrally written, well referenced, no close paraphrasing seen. QPQ done. | + | ::* [[File:Symbol question.svg|16px]] Thank you. I did some more copyediting and reference formatting. The article is new enough, long enough, neutrally written, well referenced, no close paraphrasing seen. Image is freely licensed. QPQ done. |
::*Regarding the hooks: The original hook is long, but it's very interesting. It could be shortened thus: | ::*Regarding the hooks: The original hook is long, but it's very interesting. It could be shortened thus: | ||
| − | ::*'''ALT2''': ... that the [[Kohima Epitaph]] in the '''[[War Cemetery in Kohima|2nd Division's War Cemetery in Kohima]]''' ''(pictured)'' of the [[Second World War]] reads, "When you go home, Tell them of us and say, For their tomorrow, we gave our today"? | + | ::*'''ALT2''':<s> ... that the [[Kohima Epitaph]] in the '''[[War Cemetery in Kohima|2nd Division's War Cemetery in Kohima]]''' ''(pictured)'' of the [[Second World War]] reads, "When you go home, Tell them of us and say, For their tomorrow, we gave our today"?</s> |
::*ALT1 is also a good hook, but it's slightly misleading. "Burials" sounds like graves, while the Hindus and Sikhs were cremated. Perhaps this hook could be revised as follows: | ::*ALT1 is also a good hook, but it's slightly misleading. "Burials" sounds like graves, while the Hindus and Sikhs were cremated. Perhaps this hook could be revised as follows: | ||
::*'''ALT3''': ... that the '''[[War Cemetery in Kohima]]''' ''(pictured)'' contains 1,420 Commonwealth burials of the [[Second World War]], including the cremated remains of 917 [[Hindu]]s and [[Sikh]]s? [[User:Yoninah|Yoninah]] ([[User talk:Yoninah|talk]]) 13:42, 8 March 2015 (UTC) | ::*'''ALT3''': ... that the '''[[War Cemetery in Kohima]]''' ''(pictured)'' contains 1,420 Commonwealth burials of the [[Second World War]], including the cremated remains of 917 [[Hindu]]s and [[Sikh]]s? [[User:Yoninah|Yoninah]] ([[User talk:Yoninah|talk]]) 13:42, 8 March 2015 (UTC) | ||
| − | :::* Thanks for the copy edit. I prefer '''ALT3''' hook. | + | :::* Thanks for the copy edit. I prefer '''ALT3''' hook.--'''[[User talk:Nvvchar|<span style="font-variant:small-caps;color:#003366">Nvvchar</span>]]'''. 14:26, 8 March 2015 (UTC) |
| + | ::::*[[File:Symbol confirmed.svg|16px]] Great. Since I just tweaked ALT1, I'll go ahead and approve this. ALT3 hook ref verified and cited inline. ALT3 good to go. [[User:Yoninah|Yoninah]] ([[User talk:Yoninah|talk]]) 15:12, 8 March 2015 (UTC) | ||
{{-}}}}<!--Please do not write below this line or remove this line. Place comments above this line.--> | {{-}}}}<!--Please do not write below this line or remove this line. Place comments above this line.--> | ||
Revision as of 15:12, 8 March 2015
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War Cemetery in Kohima
... that in the 2nd Division's War Cemetery in Kohima (pictured) of the Second World War, the Kohima Epitaph reads, "When You Go Home, Tell Them of Us And Say, For Their Tomorrow, We Gave Our Today"?
- ALT1:
... that the War Cemetery in Kohima (pictured) has 1,420 Commonwealth burials of the Second World War, including 917 Hindus and Sikhs? - Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/Marie-Luise Gilles
- ALT1:
Created by Nvvchar (talk). Self nominated at 01:43, 7 March 2015 (UTC).
Article is 5k+ chars, less than 2 days old. I'd go with ALT1 as it is more interesting and shorter. Sourced in refs 1, 2, 3. All in all, a green one from me. --Rsrikanth05 (talk) 22:41, 7 March 2015 (UTC)
The article could use some copyediting for English grammar. There is also the matter of this incomplete sentence at the end of the first paragraph under History: In this battle causalities from the commonwealth forces was – and to the Japanese division was -. Yoninah (talk) 02:06, 8 March 2015 (UTC)
- Deleted the sentence related to causalities as exact figures are not available. I have done some more copy editing.--Nvvchar. 04:01, 8 March 2015 (UTC)
Thank you. I did some more copyediting and reference formatting. The article is new enough, long enough, neutrally written, well referenced, no close paraphrasing seen. Image is freely licensed. QPQ done.- Regarding the hooks: The original hook is long, but it's very interesting. It could be shortened thus:
- ALT2:
... that the Kohima Epitaph in the 2nd Division's War Cemetery in Kohima (pictured) of the Second World War reads, "When you go home, Tell them of us and say, For their tomorrow, we gave our today"? - ALT1 is also a good hook, but it's slightly misleading. "Burials" sounds like graves, while the Hindus and Sikhs were cremated. Perhaps this hook could be revised as follows:
- ALT3: ... that the War Cemetery in Kohima (pictured) contains 1,420 Commonwealth burials of the Second World War, including the cremated remains of 917 Hindus and Sikhs? Yoninah (talk) 13:42, 8 March 2015 (UTC)
