Template:Did you know nominations/Edmondston-Alston House

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Edmondston-Alston House

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• ... that General P. T. Beauregard watched from the Edmondston-Alston House (pictured) the bombardment of Fort Sumter he had ordered, that started the American Civil War?
• ALT1 ... that the Edmondston-Alston House (pictured) was where General P. T. Beauregard watched the start of the American Civil War, with the bombardment of Fort Sumter that he ordered?

• Reviewed: SITI: An Iconic Exhibition of Dato’ Siti Nurhaliza
• Comment: Could this article be first in queue with the picture. Thanks!

Created by Doug Coldwell (talk). Self nominated at 13:11, 20 June 2014 (UTC).

• New enough. Long enough. NPOV. Checking available online resources found no close paraphrasing or copyvios. Hook is well-cited. All paras have cites. Photo is suitably licensed for front page. QPQ done. Hook wording seems a little awkward, so I've propsed an ALT1 that might be a bit better, although I'm not entirely happy with it. Edwardx (talk) 22:17, 20 June 2014 (UTC)

• ALT1 looks good to me. Thanks for review. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 22:53, 20 June 2014 (UTC)

• Suggested shortening and grammar tweak of ALT1:
• ALT2: ... that General P. T. Beauregard watched the bombardment of Fort Sumter, which he had ordered, from the Edmondston-Alston House (pictured)?

Yoninah (talk) 23:02, 22 June 2014 (UTC)

Suggesting a tweak of the tweak:

• ALT3: ... that after ordering the bombardment of Fort Sumter, General P. T. Beauregard watched the attack from the Edmondston-Alston House (pictured)?

EEng (talk)

• ALT4: ... that after ordering the bombardment of Fort Sumter that started the American Civil War, General P. T. Beauregard watched the attack from the Edmondston-Alston House (pictured)?--Doug Coldwell (talk) 10:36, 25 June 2014 (UTC)

Yes, I think the Civil War angle should come in. However, I fear we'll get static from adherents of the which - that == nonrestrictive - restrictive nonsense [1], so I'd suggest

• ALT5: ... that after ordering the bombardment of Fort Sumter which started the American Civil War, General P. T. Beauregard watched the attack from the Edmondston-Alston House (pictured)?

EEng (talk) 11:49, 25 June 2014 (UTC)