Template:Did you know nominations/Money Pit
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Revision as of 03:49, 19 November 2015 by imported>BlueMoonset (full review needed)
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Money Pit
... that Money Pit is a legal minefield?
Created by Launchballer (talk). Self-nominated at 02:03, 30 October 2015 (UTC).
- Although the original hook is based on a quotation from the show's producer, I think the way it is phrased presents the topic in an unduly negative light. It declares, as a factual assertion, that the show may be connected to illegal activity. I think it would be better if we phrased the hook as a matter of opinion:
- ALT1 ... that Money Pit's producer described the show as a "legal minefield"?
- Let me know what you think. Best, -- Notecardforfree (talk) 15:31, 30 October 2015 (UTC)
- It's certainly punchy.--Launchballer 17:29, 30 October 2015 (UTC)
- Hello, Template:Ping I italicised the title Money Pit in both hooks, since it is the title of a television programme. I agree with Notecardforfree's concern about the original hook painting the show in a problematic light, and think ALT1 is an excellent way of dealing with that issue while retaining the sense of the original hook and keeping it punchy. —GrammarFascist contribstalk 17:40, 2 November 2015 (UTC)
- It's certainly punchy.--Launchballer 17:29, 30 October 2015 (UTC)
Full review needed. I've struck the original hook per the comments above. BlueMoonset (talk) 03:48, 19 November 2015 (UTC)