Template:Did you know nominations/Nana Kofi Twumasi-Ankrah

From blackwiki
< Template:Did you know nominations
Revision as of 00:46, 27 July 2017 by imported>Nikkimaria (re)
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Nana Kofi Twumasi-Ankrah

Created by Crosstemplejay (talk). Self-nominated at 14:25, 12 July 2017 (UTC).

  • Symbol possible vote.svg Template:Ping this is called close paraphrasing and must be rewritten in the writer's own words:
  • Source: The Queen's appointment was received with some cynicism by some social media users, who said the move is years late.
  • Article: His appointment was received with some cynicism by some social media users, who believed such an appointment was years late.
  • Source: when a Canadian captain made history by becoming the first female infantry officer to lead the Changing of the Guard ceremony at Buckingham Palace in London.
  • Article: when a Canadian captain made history by becoming the first female infantry officer to lead the Changing of the Guard ceremony at Buckingham Palace in London.
  • Source: The role of Mounting The Queen's Guard usually falls to the British Army’s Household Division, which is part of the male-dominated infantry division.
  • Article: The role of Mounting The Queen's Guard usually falls to the British Army’s Household Division, a predominantly male-dominated infantry division.
  • Yoninah (talk) 23:50, 15 July 2017 (UTC)
Thanks for the heads up Template:Ping. I was not sure if a Copyvio unlikely was enough to hold this up. Over to you now to improve this Template:Ping. Jupitus Smart 04:24, 16 July 2017 (UTC)
  • Thank you for your fixes. I did more copyediting on the article, removing some close paraphrasing that didn't turn up in Earwigs Copyvio Detector, and also removed text that was unrelated to the subject. I think the hook could be punchier, like:
  • ALT1: ... that Ghanaian-born Major Nana Kofi Twumasi-Ankrah is the first black equerry in British monarch history? Yoninah (talk) 21:21, 18 July 2017 (UTC)
  • Symbol possible vote.svg Sourcing needs improvement, particularly since this is a BLP. Nikkimaria (talk) 12:07, 25 July 2017 (UTC)
Template:Ping Sourcing improvement done. Thanks and God bless.CrossTemple Jay 16:57, 26 July 2017 (UTC)
Better, but see this discussion. Nikkimaria (talk) 00:46, 27 July 2017 (UTC)