Template:Did you know nominations/Noel Money
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Revision as of 01:31, 2 January 2014 by imported>Yoninah (grammar issue in hook too)
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Noel Money
- ... that Noel Money was invested as a Companion of the Order of St Michael and St George and the Distinguished Service Order and bar, for a second award?
Created by Jim Sweeney (talk). Nominated by Tentinator (talk) at 13:31, 25 December 2013 (UTC).
Date, length and hook all OK. I suggest maybe removing a few links (except the invested one) because it may deflect potential views away from the article, but not a major issue. Good to go. The C of E God Save the Queen! (talk) 23:33, 31 December 2013 (UTC)
The article needs copyediting. Commas are missing and sentences are fragmented, e.g.: "Noel Ernest Money was born in Montreal Canada on 17 March 1867. The eldest son of Captain Albert William Money of the Royal Canadian Rifle Regiment." The last clause in the hook (after the comma) also seems to be hanging without making sense. Yoninah (talk) 01:28, 2 January 2014 (UTC)