Template:Did you know nominations/Stephen Rubin
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Revision as of 21:22, 8 January 2014 by imported>Figureskatingfan (reply)
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Stephen Rubin
- ... that Stephen Rubin turned the Liverpool Shoe Company into Pentland Group, the UK's largest sports apparel company and owner of Berghaus, Mitre, Speedo and several other brands?
Created by FunkyCanute (talk). Self nominated at 12:18, 16 December 2013 (UTC).
Hook kinda long, but short enough. New and long/expanded enough. I suggest that you expand the lead to a few more sentences, and that it actually summarize the article. Spot-checked sources, and although I don't have access to the first two, they look fine. I'm AGF that this article is comprehensive enough and that all the sources have been exhausted. Good to go. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 21:53, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
After thinking about it for a few minutes, I think you should shorten the hook. How about:
- Alt1
... that Stephen Rubin changed the Liverpool Shoe Company's name to Pentland Group, the UK's largest sports apparel company?Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 22:01, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
- Alt1
- He did way more than just change the name... If it must be shorter then perhaps go with:
- ALT2: ... that Stephen Rubin transformed the Liverpool Shoe Company into Pentland Group, the UK's largest sports apparel company? FunkyCanute (talk) 16:50, 5 January 2014 (UTC)
- I'm fine with your version. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 20:14, 5 January 2014 (UTC)
- Note: struck ALT1 as not acceptable to creator (and less interesting). BlueMoonset (talk) 15:43, 8 January 2014 (UTC)
- Ok, your choice; original hook is short enough, so I'm fine with using it. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 21:22, 8 January 2014 (UTC)
- Note: struck ALT1 as not acceptable to creator (and less interesting). BlueMoonset (talk) 15:43, 8 January 2014 (UTC)
- I'm fine with your version. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 20:14, 5 January 2014 (UTC)
- ALT2: ... that Stephen Rubin transformed the Liverpool Shoe Company into Pentland Group, the UK's largest sports apparel company? FunkyCanute (talk) 16:50, 5 January 2014 (UTC)