Template:Did you know nominations/Sushil Siddharth

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Revision as of 06:31, 8 May 2018 by imported>Skr15081997 (proposed new hooks.)
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Sushil Siddharth

  • Reviewed: A Voz do Brasil
  • Comment: Also nominated for RD. Let's see what happens.

5x expanded by Skr15081997 (talk). Self-nominated at 15:30, 21 March 2018 (UTC).

  • Symbol possible vote.svg The article is new and the topic interesting, and as far as I can discern it is not plagiarized; QPQ done and appears quite thorough and competent. However, the article needs copyediting for grammar: a necessary "the" is frequently dropped, the word order is strange at times (as in: "he and Ram Bahadur Mishra edited and published a quarterly Birwa dedicated to Awadhi language"), he died of "an heart attack", etc.; the style is also inconsistent, as italics are and aren't used for paper and journal titles; also, does one really use "served" to denote "worked for a magazine"? Other issues: what does "academic criticism" mean in this context? what are Spandan Samman and Madhuban Vyanga Shri Samman? must we have one-line sections (that are actually frowned upon by our Manual of Style), or could we possibly merge his career into one section? in "Maitreyi Pushpa was of the view that his talent could not be used correctly", what does "correctly" mean to say? The hook is also terribly not interesting, but rather the kind of generic polite stuff with a slight metaphorical twist that a writer would say about another, deceased, writer; I would think there's more potential of creating a hook from Maitreyi Pushpa's views, though I'm not sure I understand what she means, and the article would need to elaborate on that tidbit (an exact, lengthier quote from Pushpa?). Also note that the hook is ungrammatical: "satire was oxygen of" is incorrect; either use "was the oxygen" or go with the phrasing actually in the article -- "was oxygen in". Please consider this as purely constructive criticism, Dahn (talk) 13:25, 25 March 2018 (UTC)
  • The Spandan Samman and Madhuban Vyanga Shri Samman are literary awards. Rajkamal Prakashan and Kitabghar Prakashan are book publishing houses, so I haven't italicised their names. --Skr15081997 (talk) 14:18, 15 April 2018 (UTC)
  • Well yes, but you should specify that in the article -- you could name the institutions not immediately apparent to clarify that they're publishing houses, and you could indicate who awards the Spandan Samman and Madhuban Vyanga Shri Samman (non-Indians and even some Indians presumably are left clueless as to what these things mean). Still waiting on grammatical corrections and clarifications of meaning, as well as the hook issue. Dahn (talk) 17:40, 17 April 2018 (UTC)
  • ALT1: ... that a fellow writer said that satire was the oxygen in Sushil Siddharth's life?
ALT2: ... that a fellow writer said that the publishers for whom Sushil Siddharth worked, took advantage of his financial condition?
  • Dahn, I have improved and copy-edited the article. Pushpa's statement has been expanded in the article and here are two alt hooks. --Skr15081997 (talk) 06:31, 8 May 2018 (UTC)